10 Years

I'm back from Cabo, AKA worst/best trip I've ever taken. If I had not taken this trip, I would not have come to the conclusions I possess today. I started writing in a journal when I got there, but I wrote this bit in the airport. So I've decided to transfer writings from there to here, my blog.

10 Years

June 18th, Saturday Morning.

Today marks the first day of honesty for me. So to begin, I guess I should say this isn't my first entry. I wrote in this booklet upon landing in Mexico. I tore out the pages because what I wrote was a lie. It is quite a shame that I've had to lie to myself. I wrote to a stranger over the last week, about a song. A song I tried to hide. When I took the time to reflect on it I realized that I was able to write one of the most honest songs I've ever written in the most dishonest times of my life. In a time where I lied to everyone close to me. When I lied to the very beating in my chest. I am not proud. I am indeed ashamed. I don't even know why I lied in the first place.

Now I'm back in the air, these flights connect in a city that holds both good and bad memories for me. For the first time I'm taking these memories to the sky. I'm taking them with me. I've always left them there to remind me anytime I show up. I need to carry them with me. Bear the weight. This road I'm approaching will not be an easy one. I don't think I've ever done anything like this. Maybe it's the altitude or the way the atmosphere tastes but this ringing in my ears wont stop. Ha, I'm thinking it's the altitude. After all your head can only be so full when you're this close to the heavens. I have so many questions I need answered. I've decided to take the narrow road to seek out these answers. Maybe it's in my stars that I'll find them. Before I can get what I desire, I must admit the truth.

My name is Adam Patino Rivera. I was born October 5th 1987. I am a terrible, terrible person. I am a compulsive liar. I've been in love once, I think. I was simply too young and stupid to understand it. My father has always been right. I love my family more than I can stand, yet i don't show it like I should. The people I claim as my best friends are as different as they are similar to me. Music means more than anything to me. More than love, more than any girl. It defines me, and I would be naked without it. I have feelings fora friend that I shouldn't. Not because she is young, or far away, or has different religious beliefs; but because she will truly break my heart one day. Still... I hope that maybe I'll see her in 10 years. 6/18/11