So I've long been done writing for the album, but for some reason there has been this feeling in me. For a few weeks now, it's been itching to surface. I've often described what it's like writing a song. The feelings before, the feelings after, what's happening as I am writing it. It often varies. However, this time I could feel it. It revealed itself in pieces. Day to day it was another thought, another lyric. Ya see I've got this friend, lets call her Sally, who I'm completely obsessed with. I don't think I am, but my friends often joke that I am. To tell the truth, she fades in and out of my thoughts. Only by control of my will. If I did not monitor these thoughts, she would probably run rampant throughout my brain. Day by day I'll try and put her out of my mind, so I can function about normally. The truth is I don't feel like I did last year. I am completely different. As a result, I realized I can lose her in my thoughts, there I can go as fast as I want. My heart however, never lost her. So I'm left with a painful reminder of my feelings every time I talk to her. It's rather stupid.
I am truly just trying to be her friend these days. I think we may in the end be too different from each other to ever be anything more than friends. I am after all non-fixable. I am an awful person that no one should want to date, that doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I'm just trying to deal with them in my own way. I'll sort out the truth later. Either way here it is... lyrics here, the video is on my facebook.
Inside Out
"Settle down Sally, don't say a word, life ain't what you think it is. It's only what you'd prefer.
The day spoke out to me and said, son you're much too young to live like love is the only blessing that never comes.
Take another look now, I've got my heart inside out. But you'll find a way to bring it back down to you, cause my heart never lost you.
Settle down Sally, don't make a sound. Cause I lost my voice when my heart first hit the ground. I don't feel like I did last year. I don't feel like these words have reached your ears. So listen close love, and I'll sing you a song that bears the truth that you knew all along.
Take another look now, I've got my heart inside out. But you'll find a way to bring it back down to you,, cause my heart never lost you.
Testing testing 1, 2, 3... is your heart still beating?
Testing testing 1, 2, 3... is your heart still beating?
Testing testing 1, 2, 3... is your heart still beating.
Take another look now, I've got my heart inside out. But you'll find a way to bring it back down to you, cause my heart never lost you.
My heart never lost you.
My heart never lost you.
4 comments:
Adam,
I don’t know your situation, and although I would like to help, I don’t have any advice to give you. I just wanted to thank you for sharing the story behind “Inside Out”, most of the time I feel like knowing what the lyrics mean is more important than knowing the lyrics themselves. And whatever happened, please don’t be too hard on yourself. Anyone who can feel like an awful person not worthy of love is actually the most worthy of it.
- Kaysi
Wow, no one has ever put it like that... I appreciate the kind words. My situation is that I am crazy about a very good friend of mine. I used to say best friend, but me and her don't talk much these days. I've liked her for quite sometime but I literally made every bad move you could make into pursuing a relationship. Now I'm just at a cross, because she literally crosses my mind all day long, but I seem to barely exist to her. It just sucks is all.
I think its because for quite some time now you two have been in two very different worlds...literally and figuratively. It's also hard when you feel the way that you do. For me it was feeling broken...I thought I was unfixable and that something was really wrong with me. I felt like that for a very long time, and then i found Rhonda and things changed. She made me see that i was worthy of love and that i wasn't broken at all. I can't imagine being far from her for as long as you have been from your friend...its hard to adjust to distance and i say that for both of you. I know you together and apart...and if its meant to be it will I promise. Some people go years and then you find each other when the timing is right and it all just fits like it did once before. I love you both very much and only want your happiness whatever, wherever, and whomever that may be.
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