I Feel..

I'm feeling different these days. I am losing my breath in waves. I truly have not felt like this in years. I am constantly writing, on paper napkins, on cups, on post its, on my hands. This woman is completely different from what I have known. I started studying medicine again, I started listening to a new genre, I started writing again, I've started staying up, I've started waking up tired and alive at the same time, She is much like a drug, I have started...

This isn't another song... these are just my thoughts. This is what I'm feeling. Sometimes it's hard for me to articulate what I want to say when I'm out and about. Sometimes it's easier for me to sit down and organize my thoughts. I wouldn't make sense if I just said everything on my mind at once, without a filter. I'm sure it would be amusing though. It would be a jumble of personalities, bodily observations, and questions. Only my closest friends seem to follow my blog, so I guess it's fitting that y'all know these things.

I'm going to start giving piano lessons again and that excites me : )

I'm dreading something... I know it's going to effect my situation drastically, i can't seem to speak up about it, for fear I'll sink the ship and drag us both down. I'm sure I'm not making sense anymore so I'll leave it at that. I think I'm going to start writing in this everyday. I would like to monitor these days... They seem to be important for a reason I can't explain nor comprehend. The one thing I can say is that my heart is beating... whether it's half of my heart, or the whole thing. The point is that it's beating and for once in a long time... I feel.

May 10th, 2010