Chapter 5 (The Road)

It seems to me that I tend to write about girls a lot, or heartbreak. Sometimes the messages are different, sometimes it's just a statement. One thing I feel like I have gotten away from is conveying that message when I can't seem to find the words to say. When words fail... that's what I write for. I am about to move to Austin, TX to take advantage of a great musical opportunity. I seem to have fallen deeper in love with playing music. Nothing compares to sitting in a piano room by myself and writing a song that means something to me. Packing my bags, loading the truck, grabbing some gas, driving to another city and watching someone else sing along to that song. Nothing compares, not my mothers food, not Jeremy's jokes, not Aaron's sarcasm, not my fathers lectures, not Laurens laugh, not Paige's smile, not my brothers charm, no nothing compares. It's funny though, all the things I just mentioned are my inspirations for writing, but that's not what i want to write about right now. I want to write about how my friends help. I want to write about recovery. I want to write about learning. I want to write about myself, my flaws, and my ways. I have to write about this move. It marks a new chapter in my life. The 5th to be specific.

"I've got it all in the boxes now.

I'm moving out to a new hometown.

You say that I'm a leaver, and it's true, I will always leave you when I can't find myself.

This is the song. You are the truth.

I am the wrong that's keeping you, In my bed, when you don't know.

Keep your heart on safe when you take me home.

I can lose my way if you show me the light, and I will find the day in the midst of the night.

You can steal my heart, I've got friends to pull me through, as I'm falling further into you.

I've got my head on my shoulders now.

Cause Cody, and Scott, and Jason showed me how.

You say that I'm a liar, but it's true. I would never lie to you, but I sure as hell will lie to myself.

This is the song. You are the truth.

I am the wrong that's keeping you, in my bed, when you don't know.

Keep your heart on safe when you take me home.

I can lose my way if you show me the light, and I will find the day in the midst of the night.

You can steal my heart, I've got friends to pull me through, as I'm falling further into you.

Nothing compares... Not my mom, and not my father. Not his sons, and not his daughter. Not this lie, or you and I. Not that smile, and not those eyes. I've got friends that keep me close... when the road is my home."

Chapter 4

I can spell Konfusion with a K and I can like it. I seem to be losing myself a little bit these days.

"Love is in your heart for the time being, and Love is in your arms, or so it seems, Love is everything in between you and me and the mistakes you made... you give yourself away, you give yourself away... When love is not enough.
Love does not persuade, love is not afraid. My love is wanting, my love is not wanted right now.
Breathe me in breathe me out so you can see it begin, all the things that you doubt like whether I'm leaving. 2nd month from the start and now you want me to stay... you give yourself away. You give yourself away... When love is not enough."
Watch me turn the page, watch me turn the page, watch me turn the page, watch me turn the page, watch me turn the page, watch me turn the Paige...

You've got his heart and my heart and all of the pain.

Hesitation

Hmmmm so yeah, I got the best/worst news ever. What will come of this? I thought I was making new beginnings that were going a certain way and but it seems they took a turn to a different path. Should I follow my heart or my destiny? That is quite the tough question. I'll give it a week and see what things look like. A lot can change in a week. A lot can change in a day, but more can change in a moment.

"I'm stuck in the moment and my heart sets the current. Where waves feel more like a drip?

My door is always open, but you never seem to step in. Hesitation stains your lips.

Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here?"